Jokes About Women – Funny Women Humor

- Where would you like to go, heaven or hell? - the hostess of the house asks her friend.
- It's hard to say,- she answers. - From a climate point of view, heaven is preferable, but the company is more interesting in hell.

Today, to be modern, a woman must look like a young girl, dress like a boy, think like a man, and work like a horse.

Two females are talking:
- Jess! Yesterday your husband told me a joke on the subway!
I laughed so hard, I laughed so hard that I almost fell off the bed!!!

Two female friends meet:
- Why are you so sad? - one says.
- My lover came yesterday, he did everything so well... And then my husband came and redid everything in his own way.

Late in the evening a woman walks home through the park. Suddenly she hears:
- Stop! - She stopped.
- Lie down! - She laid down.
- Crawl! - She crawls.
Suddenly she hears above her sympathetically:
- Madam, you feel bad? I'm here with the dog, and I saw you crawling ...

Husband, coming home from work:
- Honey, there was such a crush on the bus today that one pregnant woman gave birth.
- This is nothing. There was such a crush 2 weeks ago that I got pregnant.

Once in Africa. During one reception, the guests entertained each other with riddles.
- Do you know, - one guest asks the hostess of the house, - what is the difference between a two-meter black man, a gorilla, and a car? The lady's husband was numb when he heard in response:
- I don't know, I've never been under a car.

- Sorry that the money is all wet, - the lady said to the seller in the fur store. - My husband sobbed so much when he gave it to me ...

Two female friends are chatting over a cup of coffee.
- I love nature, - says one.
The other looked at her friend carefully and remarked caustically:
- And this after what it did to you?

God, how times have changed! My mother still remembers the first time my father kissed her, and my sister has already forgotten the name of her first husband!