Best funny jokes about lawyers and court jokes. Funny jokes about situations with lawyers and at court:

The lawyer indignantly says to the judge:
- Last time you condemned this man for committing theft in broad daylight. This time for the fact that he insidiously deceived people by burgling them at night. The question is: when do you suggest my clients can steal?

The lawyer's speech at the trial:
- Gentlemen of the judge. The defendant, whom I defend, honestly told about all the methods that he used in thefts. Honesty is a very rare quality these days. Therefore, I think everyone will agree with me that a person endowed with such qualities cannot commit theft.

The lawyer's speech at the trial:
- Gentlemen of the judge! Please bear in mind that my client is a victim of the parenting methods used by his parents. There was no desire that they would not immediately fulfill. As soon as the boy asked his father for fifty dollars, the loving parent immediately went down to the basement and printed a new banknote...

The lawyer speaks in court:
- Gentlemen of the jury! The very fact that the accused chose me as his lawyer testifies to his complete insanity.

A London lawyer received word that a rich inheritance had been left to a lady in the capital. An independent search for her did not yield results, and the lawyer turned to the police, who allocated a young, efficient detective to help him.
After a couple of weeks, the boss asked how things were going.
- I finally found this lady, sir!
- Fine, where is she?
- At my place, sir. Yesterday I married her!

The judge asks four Indians who escaped from prison:
- Tell me, why did you run away?
- We were in prison for a day, a second, a third. On the fourth day, our friend "Sharp Eye" noticed that one wall was missing.

The judge to the defendant:
- Well, well, stop worrying and tell us how it happened.
- I'm terribly upset. And so it happened like this. I sat and peeled an orange with a knife. Then this guy came up, slipped on an orange peel and fell right on the knife.
Judge:
- And so three times in a row?

At a court. Judge (losing patience):
- Answer only "yes" or "no"! We don't need your speculations.
- But not every question can be answered with "yes" or "no"!
- Every!
- Well, then answer: have you already stopped beating interrogated prisoners?
Judge shrugging shoulders:
- No!

At court:
- Couldn't I have seen your face before? - asks the judge, carefully looking at the defendant.
- You definitely could, your honor! - he replies hopefully. - Last winter I gave your son violin lessons...
- Twenty years of prison with hard labor!!!

The juvenile delinquent judge is testified by the teenager's mother:
- My husband and I raised our son in the most strict way! How were we to know that the money we give him for cigarettes, vodka and girls, he spends on drugs.