Jokes about doctors & medical jokes:
A council of doctors has gathered:
- Shall we treat the patient? Or let him live?
An old lady with a pretty daughter enters the doctor's office.
- Take off your clothes, - the doctor says to the girl.
- It is me who is ill, doctor, - explains the mother.
- Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am. Show your tongue.
The secretary in the doctor's waiting room was terribly surprised when a nun flew out of the examination room and rushed off without paying. When the doctor came out, she asked what happened.
- I examined her, and said that she was pregnant, - said the doctor.
- But doctor! - exclaimed the secretary. - She is a nun. This can not be!
- Of course not, - said the doctor. - But the hiccups disappeared right away.
Suffering from chronic bronchitis, Ronald decided to visit a famous doctor. He carefully examined him, asked in detail about everything and assured that the disease was treatable.
- Are you sure about that, doctor? - Ronald asked hopefully. - Probably, you have a lot of experience in the treatment of this disease?
The doctor smiled enigmatically and said confidentially:
- Believe me, my dear. I myself have had bronchitis for more than fifteen years!
At the doctor's office:
- Tell me honestly, doctor, do these herbs of yours do any good?
- A lot of good! I recently bought a cottage for my son, and I'm finishing a house for my daughter ...
- When I was young, - said the famous doctor, - I wanted to become an architect.
- Why did you change your mind and choose medicine?
- In architecture, - the doctor answered, - all mistakes are visible. And in medicine they are buried with the sick.
A patient came to see the doctor.
- Doctor, I have hemorrhoids.
- In which place?
- Doctor! - a young man turns to the doctor. - I ask for the hand of your daughter.
- Do not dream about it - you look like you have diseased kidneys ...
The distressed young man went to the door.
- Wait! - the doctor stopped him. - Please pay my secretary at the door $100 for consultation.
- Time heals all diseases...
- Ah, that's why you have to wait so long for an appointment at the clinics ...
Two friends are talking:
- The doctor said that I have an innate ability to ski.
- What does it mean?
- My fractures heal quickly...