Smart & Clever Jokes That Make You Laugh and Think

Three stages of growing up a man:
1) He believes in Santa Claus
2) He doesn't believe in Santa Claus
3) He is Santa Claus

- Who is more satisfied: the man who has six children or the one who has six million dollars?
- The one who has six children!
- Why?
- Who has six million - wants more!

You eat a lot - the excess is deposited in fat. You eat little - the body thinks that bad times are coming, and begins to accumulate fat. Not a single chance, damn it, not a single chance.

Hard times produce strong people.
Strong people create good times.
Good times produce weak people.
Weak people create hard times.

After 40, it feels like your body has the engine and oil change lights lit for a long time, but you just keep going. And the suspension crunches and the exhaust is smelly. Oh yes... and most importantly, you are afraid to go to maintenance check, as it will end up in a huge amount.

I couldn't sleep during pregnancy: sometimes the sofa is uncomfortable, sometimes the pillow is hard ... I gave birth. Now I'm leaning against the door frame, and it's soft, soft...

In war, politicians give weapons, the rich give food, and the poor give their children. When the war ends, politicians shake hands, the rich raise food prices, and the poor search for the graves of their children.

Diogenes was going to have lunch. His lunch consisted of bread and lentils. Another philosopher, Aristippus, approached him - he was the favorite of the king and lived comfortably.
- Learn to please the king, and you will eat more than just lentils, - said Aristippus.
- Learn to eat lentils and you won't have to curry favor with the king, - Diogenes replied.

Find a job like daddy wants.
Marry someone your mom likes.
Give birth to children for the joy of grandmother.
Make sure everyone else is happy and calmly shoot yourself.

Buddha is walking along the road with his disciples. He sees: a pit, there is an ox in it, the peasant is trying to pull it out, but he is not strong enough. The Buddha nodded to the disciples, they quickly helped to pull the animal out.
They go further, again the pit, there is an ox in it, a peasant is sitting on the edge and weeps bitterly. The Buddha passed by and did not seem to notice. His disciples ask him:
- Teacher, why didn't you want to help this peasant?
- Help cry?