Our Jokes:
Restaurant Jokes
Funny Jokes About Waiters, Dining, and Restaurant Life
Eating out should be simple — but somehow it never is. From confusing menus and long waits to awkward conversations with waiters, restaurants are full of funny moments. These restaurant jokes highlight the humor of dining out, capturing the interactions between customers and servers, unexpected situations, and the little things that make eating out memorable.
A man came to the restaurant, called the waiter.
- A shot for me, a shot for you and shots for the musicians. And so he repeated it all evening. Well, closing time, it's time to leave. He got up and went.
- Hey, what about the bill?
- But I have no money!
Well, the waiter began to give the man in the face, for a long time. The next day, the same man again comes to the restaurant:
- A shot for me and a shot to each musician.
Waiter, with evil sarcasm:
- What about me?
- No shots for you, you fight when drunk!
0
- Waiter, why are there artificial flowers in the vase? In a first-class restaurant, the flowers could be alive!
- You're right. But ever since our restaurant became vegetarian, the diners think fresh flowers are a snack.
0
- Waiter, what's that crawling on the salad?!
- Vitamins, sir.
0
- Waiter, I have a fly in my soup!
- Ha! I got it, finally.
0
A bully walks into a bar and asks the bartender:
- Do you need bouncers?
- You see, sir, - says the bartender - I do not know your qualifications.
- Now you'll see!
With these words, the thug goes to the nearest table, takes a big guy with square shoulders sitting there by the collar and, with some effort, throws him out the window. After that, he turns to the bartender and asks:
- Well, how do you like it?
- Let the owner crawl back and we will talk with you.
0
Announcement at the sushi restaurant:
Dear customers! When you visit sushi bars, you don't need to demonstrate your knowledge of the Japanese language. We don't understand anything anyways, they don't teach it in China.
0
At a restaurant:
- Waiter! What did you bring me?
- What you ordered. Chicken broth.
- Is that chicken broth?
- Yes. Chicken broth. From a young chicken. From very young. Honestly, we boil eggs in it.
0
- Waiter! You brought me a very old chicken. I determined it by the teeth.
- But chickens don't have teeth.
- But I have them.
0
The waiter runs up to the visitor's table:
- Please, can you eat faster the fish I just brought you...
- Why faster?
- Because the sanitary inspection came.
0
A visitor in a restaurant calls the waiter:
- Listen! The chicken you served me is stale!
- The blame in on you.
- Why?
- Because I offered it to you last Wednesday, and you refused.
0
Click below for more jokes: