Our Jokes:
Science Jokes
Funny Jokes About Scientists, Experiments, and Nerdy Science
Science is full of curiosity, experiments, and moments that don’t always go as planned. These science jokes celebrate the funny side of scientific thinking — from brilliant scientists and lab mishaps to clever observations only true science nerds will appreciate. Smart, witty, and a little geeky, this collection of science humor is perfect for students, researchers, engineers, and anyone who loves learning how the world works.
Three mathematicians and three physicists are going to travel by train to another city for a conference. They meet in front of the ticket office at the station. The first in the line are physicists and they, like all normal people, buy a ticket per person. Mathematicians buy one ticket for all.
- Why? - physicists are surprised, - After all, there is a controller on the train, they will kick you out without tickets!
- Don't worry, - the mathematicians answer - We have a METHOD.
Before the train leaves, physicists sit in the cars, but they try to follow the application of the mysterious "method". Mathematicians are all crammed into the same toilet. When the controller comes to the toilet and knocks, the door opens a little, and a hand with a ticket sticks out. The controller takes the ticket and then they all go to their destination without any problems.
After the conference, the same people meet again at the station. Physicists, inspired by the example of mathematicians, buy one ticket. Mathematicians take none.
- What will you show the controller?
- We have a METHOD.
On the train, physicists crammed into one toilet, mathematicians into another. Shortly before departure, one of the mathematicians approaches the closet where the physicists are hiding. Knocking. A hand sticks out with a ticket. The mathematician takes the ticket and returns to his colleagues.
MORAL: You can't use mathematical methods without understanding them!
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Two physicists are sitting in a cafe, sipping beer. A gorgeous, such a lady passes by. One physicist says to another, looking after the lady:
- Look, what an interesting combination of atoms!
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The chemist boasts to his friends:
- My baby son said his first word today!
- What did he say?
- Paraaminoarsenebenzene hydrochloride! - proudly answered the happy father.
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The conversation of geneticists:
- How are your new potatoes? Well, the one with genetic modifications?
- In my opinion, complete bullshit!
- Quiet! They can hear us!
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First date at home. Guy and girl hugging on the couch.
They are nearing reciprocity.
The guy starts to undress and gets to the girl.
- Ouch! What a cool condom you have! Glows in the dark!
- No, the condom is an ordinary one. It is just I am a nuclear physicist...
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A biologist, physicist and mathematician went on a business trip to England. Passing through England by train, everyone saw a black cow grazing on a meadow. Upon arrival home, everyone wrote a report on the work done.
Biologist: In England, there are cows.
Physicist: In England I saw a black cow.
Mathematician: There is at least one cow in England that is black on at least one side.
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At Dragons' Den TV-show a man presents his invention:
- I want to offer your my latest invention. This is a shaving machine. The client puts in coins, sticks his head into the hole, and two razors automatically begin to shave him.
- But each person has an individual structure of the face ...
- For the first time, yes!
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A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer were given the task of jumping from a tower into a barrel of water.
The engineer rummaged in the library, found a "collection of standard calculations for jumping from a tower into a barrel of water", according to the parameters of his tower and barrel, he found a ready-made solution.
Jumped - OK.
The physicist made a mass-dimensional model, brought bunch of measuring equipment, conducted a series of experiments, determined the area of ????acceptable jump trajectories.
Jumped - OK.
The mathematician developed a "general theory of jumps", based on which he derived the theory of jumping from a tower into a barrel of water, using these formulas he performed the most accurate calculations.
Jumped - flew vertically upwards.
Made an error in sign.
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A company of an infinite number of mathematicians walks into a bar.
The first mathematician says to the bartender:
- Pour us a jug of beer for everyone. For me - a liter.
The second mathematician adds to the order:
- And for me half a liter.
Third mathematician:
- And for me 0.25.
The bartender says:
- That's it, I understand, sit down.
And pours two liters into a jug.
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The mathematician was asked:
- Does an elephant have wings?
- Yes, - he replied, - but they are equal to zero.
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