Sales & Marketing Jokes

Types of marketing.
- You saw a beautiful girl at a party. Walk up to her and say, "I'm a champion in bed."
This is direct marketing.

- You are at a party with a bunch of your friends. One of your buddies comes up to the girl and says, "He's a champion in bed."
This is advertising.

- At a party, you approach a beautiful girl and take her phone number from her. Call her the next day and tell her, "I'm a champion in bed."
This is telephone marketing.

- You are at a party. You tighten your tie, walk up to her, serve her a glass of booze, open doors for her, pick up her bag if she drops it, offer a ride with the breeze, and then say: "By the way, I'm a champion in bed."
This is PR.

- You saw a beautiful girl at a party. She comes up to you and says, "I heard you're a champion in bed."
This is a recognizable brand.

A mother had three daughters. They decided to all marry, and the mother asked them after the wedding to write a letter home about their married life.

The first replied the next day. The letter contained one line - "Maxwell Coffeehouse."
Mother was embarrassed, but, remembering the advertisement for Maxwell coffee in the newspaper, she took it and read under it "Satisfaction to the last drop..." Well, in general, everything is fine.

Then the second daughter got married, and a week later a letter arrived from her. It had the line "Rothmans". Mom found an advertisement for Rothmans in a magazine and saw the following: "LIFE SIZE, KING SIZE" - and this time everything is fine.

It's time to marry the third daughter. The letter arrived a month later. Its text was "BRITISH AIRWAYS."
Mom got excited, turned over all the newspapers in search of advertising, but found nothing. Turning on the TV, she accidentally finally watched a commercial for BRITISH AIRWAYS and passed out...
The text was: "TWO TIMES A DAY, SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, BOTH WAYS."

A knock on the door of the apartment, the hostess opens, in front of her is a guy who says:
- I sell the best washing vacuum cleaners, do you want to see it?
- Let's see, come in.
The seller enters the apartment, dumps cow dung out of the bag on the floor and says:
- Now, if I don't clean it completely in five minutes, then I'll eat it!
He plugs in the vacuum cleaner. Nothing happens.
- Young man, do you want me to give you ketchup, the electricity will turn on only tomorrow?

On the train, the ambassador and the bishop argued over which of them had the higher rank.
- I am titled "Your Eminence" - argued the bishop.
- And they call me "Your Excellency" - retorted the ambassador.
The traveling salesman who was sitting with them in the same compartment said:
- Of the three of us, I have the highest rank. When I come to the buyer, they meet me with the words:
"My God! You again!"

The director of a store teaches a young saleswoman:
- If the buyer asks: "How much are the glasses?", you say: "One hundred".
If the customer does not flinch, say: "For the frame." If they does not flinch again, say: "And one hundred for the lenses." And if they don't flinch again, say: "For each."

There are so many shampoos in stores: for dandruff, for increasing hair volume, for shine. Are there any shampoos left at all to just wash your dirty hair?

How to make a beer business:
1. Register trademarks "Past", "Present", and "Future".
2. Produce beer varieties "Dark Past", "Bright Future" and "Muddy (unfiltered) Present".

Dear Santa Claus! The boy Peter is writing to you. I beg you to read this letter to the end. This is not spam, but a real opportunity to earn money...

Advertisement: "Only in Tampax tampons in every 5th pack our surprise cracker."

Advertising (inspired by an ad for a dental center): "If you amputate one limb in our center, the other limb will be amputated for free."