Our Jokes:
Neighbor Jokes
Funny Jokes About Nosy, Noisy, and Annoying Neighbors
Living next door to someone can be wonderful — or unforgettable for entirely different reasons. From lawnmower battles at 7 a.m. to mysterious fence-line disputes and passive-aggressive notes, neighbors provide endless comedic material. These neighbor jokes highlight the funny side of everyday neighborhood life, proving that sometimes the best entertainment is happening just across the fence.
- In terms of living standards, we will never catch up with our neighbors, - the wife says to her husband, pointing to the neighboring apartment. - They have been robbed for the third time, but we not even once ...
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- you have a strange combination of goods: only saxophones and revolvers.
- not weird at all. As soon As someone buys a saxophone, soon a neighbor comes and buys a revolver.
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One woman decided to buy a wardrobe (like in Ikea in disassembled form). She got it home and decided to arrange a surprise for her husband and assembled / twisted / screwed everything according to the instructions. Then a tram rode past their house and the wardrobe fell apart. She assembled it a second time - the same story. She decided to ask a neighbor for help. She went to ask him. Well, as he was at home in family shorts, he went to look. They assembled again, the tram drove by - again the cabinet collapsed. So the neighbor says:
- Let's assemble it, I'll climb into it and look from the inside.
Finally they assemble it again and the neighbor gets inside. Suddenly the doorbell rings, the women opens the door - there is a husband. He comes in, sees a closet, opens it, and there, crouched, is a neighbor in family shorts. The husband's jaw is on the floor.
- What are you doing here?
- David, you won't believe it. I'm waiting for the tram.
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- I bet my neighbor was making moonshine again this week, - says one resident of a village to another.
- Why do you think so?
- His rabbits beat my guard dog's face again.
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In one family, a small child said the first word: "Gamma". A day later, the grandmother died. Then the child said: "Ganpa". The grandfather died a day later. Then the child said: "Pa-pa". Father, hearing this, was terribly frightened. But the next day, a neighbor next door died.
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The school teacher came to his neighbor, a surgeon. They chatted about this and that, watched TV, drank wine. When the guest was already saying goodbye at the entrance, the owner said:
- Say hello to your wife. By the way, how is her health?
- You see, I actually came about this. She fell down the stairs and is down there unconscious.
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The doorbell rings. The owner opens. On the threshold is a neighbor who lives on the floor below. He held out a bag and said:
- I brought you oats.
- Oats! What for?
- For those horses that stomp at your place.
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- Listen, neighbor, who is your wife yelling at all the time?
- Yes, our dog.
- Poor animal. Yesterday your wife threatened to kick him out and take the keys to the house.
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Telephone call:
Hello! I am your upstairs neighbor. How long will this last! Stop your quivering and whistling with the violin immediately! If this continues, I'll go crazy!
- You already are. We sold the violin a week ago.
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The husband says to his wife:
- When our neighbor changed furniture, we also bought a new wardrobe. As soon as he brought a new large-screen color TV, you made me do the same. I'm not talking about the car! Okay, God bless him but what to do now?
- What, does he have something new again? Which one?
- He's got a new wife!
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