School Jokes

Teacher:
- Kids, what does the chicken give you?
Student:
- Meat!
Teacher:
- Very good! Now what does the pig give you?
Student:
- Bacon!
Teacher:
- Great! And what does the fat cow give you?
Student:
- Homework!

At the history lesson. The teacher asks the student:
- Daniel, who took Gettysburg?
Daniel (frightened):
- Honestly, I didn't! Ask Peter if he took it. The teacher indignantly tells the principal about this conversation.
The principal reassures her:
- Well, what are you worried about. These are children: they will play and give back.
The teacher goes to the director and retells him a conversation with the head teacher. Director (busily):
- What class was it?
- 5th "B".
- No, they won't give it back!

A young female teacher comes into the classroom and gets to know the students. One shy boy refuses to give his last name.
- I won't tell you - you will laugh.
- Well, at least give me a hint in my ear about what it is, and I'll try to guess.
The boy whispers to the teacher:
- Well ... it's what you take into your mouth every day.
- What, Dickson, or what? - whispers the teacher.
- No, - Spooner... "

A school teacher says to a colleague:
- No, it became absolutely impossible to work. The teacher is afraid of the principal. Principal is afraid of Inspector. Inspector is afraid of inspectors from the ministry. Minister is afraid of parents. Parents are afraid of children.
And only children are not afraid of anyone ...

At school, the teacher scolds the kid:
- It's a very bad word. Where did you hear it?
My dad says so.
- Don't you dare repeat it. You don't even know its meaning.
- I know. This means that the car will not start again.

Math lesson at school. The teacher asks:
- How much do you have to pay in total if you owe a butcher 155 dollars, a baker - 100 dollars, a store - 124 dollars and a grocery store - 210 dollars? Well, answer me, Bart.
- I don't know, in such cases we move to another area.

- Dad! Did you fight at school?
- Of course, I fought.
- Did you beat everyone?
- Of course, everyone.
- Dad! Can I ask you not to come to our school anymore?!

A new geography teacher comes to class, and there is horseplay, yelling, etc. She says:
- Hello children.
And she answered:
- Get out of here, bitch.
Well, she runs out of the classroom sobing and goes to the director ... And he says to her:
- With them it is necessary to act in a different way - you must first surprise and interest.
He goes to class, and the teacher follows him. The director opens the door with a foot:
- Hey guys...
- Hello, director.
- I bet you cannot pull the condom on the globe ...
- What is a globe?
- And this is what the new teacher will tell you about.

Daddy, they're calling you to school!
- Why?
- I broke the window glass.
The father went. The next day, the son says:
- Dad, you are called to school.
- Why?
- I set the chemical laboratory on fire.
Father went again. The next day, the son says again:
- Dad, you are called to school.
- Again, why? I am sick and tired going to school every day! I will not go again!
- Yes, that's right, there's no point roaming around the ruins there!

Father and son are talking.
- Son, what is the name of your school director?
- I do not know.
- What is the name of your class teacher?
- I do not remember.
- Wow! You are 15 years old, and all you say is: "I don't know, I don't remember." What grade are you in, do you remember?
- In third.
- God bless! And I thought you were an idiot!