Kids Jokes – Funny Humor About Kids

Little Robert puts on rubber boots. Mom says to him:
- Robert, it's dry outside, there's no mud or puddles.
- Don't worry, mommy. I'll find them, - he replies cheerfully.

Little Johnnie does not want to sleep. His father sits down by his bed and begins to tell him stories. He tells him stories for an hour, for two hours. Finally, silence reigns in the room. Mother quietly opens the door and asks:
- Did he fell asleep?
- Yes, mother, - the son replies in a whisper.

Little Peter's parents went to bed, and Peter eavesdrops at the door.
- Darling, I would like a girl, - mother says.
- All right, you'll have a girl.
Peter bursting into the room:
- And for me - a saber, Lego set, and a bicycle.

Little David asks his dad:
- Dad, can a six-year-old girl get pregnant?
- No, definitely not.
- Oooh, blackmailer!

Mom just came from the resort. Little Robert tells how much fun he and dad had for the whole month:
- Miss Sophia came to us every evening. She brought me sweets, and dad treated her to wine, and then they did the same thing that you and our neighbour James did when dad went on a business trip.

Father asks Bart:
- Well, son, you are already big, have you already chosen who you want to be when you grow up?
- Yes, dad! I want to be a pool cleaner.
- And that's it?
- No, also a gardener, a plumber, and a pizza delivery man.
The father thought, scratched the back of his head and shouted to his wife:
- Listen, mother! Looks like he found that videotape...

One day little Johnny asks his mother:
- Mom, how did I come into the world?
- Well, son, me and your dad took a glass. He spat, I spat, put on the window, and the next morning you appeared.
The next day at school:
- Amelia, spit in the glass.
- What are you up to, John?
- Well, just spit.
She spits.
Little Johnny also spat and put the glass on the window in his room. A cockroach fell into a glass at night.
In the morning Johnny with a glass comes up to his mother:
- Mom, can you please crush your grandson - my hand does not rise against my son.

Dad asks the children:
- Who ate the apple?
Peter: I don't know!
- And do you want another one?
- I do!

Little girl tells his dad in the street:
- Dad, look what a bald uncle!
- Speak quieter, son, otherwise he will hear.
- You think he doesn't know?

Peter, you are already six years old, and I have to tell you where children come from.
- Oh no... At the age of three, I learned that there are no ghosts and zombies, at five - that Santa Claus does not exist. If now it turns out that adults do not have sex, then what is left to believe in?!