Our Jokes:
Pet Jokes
Funny Jokes About Pets and Animals
These pet jokes celebrate the silly, lovable, and sometimes downright ridiculous things our animals do every day. From dogs and cats to unexpected animal moments, this collection of funny jokes about pets is perfect for animal lovers of all ages.
A man is sitting, playing chess with a dog.
Another guy comes up and says:
- Listen, you have such a smart dog, it knows how to play chess
- Not smart at all! Out of the last five games it won only two.
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A man is walking through the bazaar, leading a young bear on a leash. The bear growls, rests.
People ask:
- Man, why are you torturing the bear?
- Yes, if only I can find that bastard who sold him to me last year as a hamster.
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- What's your cat's name?
- In the afternoon or at 5 in the morning?
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Man's best friend is indeed a dog.
Don't believe? Try this experiment:
Lock your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car together.
Open in an hour or so. Who do you think will be more happy to see you?
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The police just rang the doorbell at my door. When I opened it, they said that my dog was chasing a man on a bicycle.
I told them to go figurel because my dog doesn't and never had a bike!
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They say that a dog is a man's friend... I hope this huge rottweiler without a muzzle runs towards me with barking to see how I'm doing...
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Today on the street I witnessed a man talking to his dog.
It was evident that he thought the dog understood him!
Came home, told the cat, we laughed for a long time.
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Two yard dogs are closely watching a fluffy lapdog.
- Gorgeous! - one sighs.
- Not the right word, you should have seen her wet - not a figure, but a feast for the eyes!
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A man walks into a pet store.
- Give me a parrot!
- No, we ran out!
- Damn, everything is there, there is no one to talk to, I will pay any money, give me a parrot!
They thought at the store and thought, tinted the owl and sold it.
A week later, the customer comes back happy, littering money:
- Thanks guys!
- Does he speak?
- No, but how he listens !!!
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How to bathe a cat:
Thoroughly clean the toilet. Lift the lid and add shampoo. Find and soothe the cat while you carry it to the toilet. With a quick movement, place the cat in the toilet, close the lid and stand on it. The cat will whip up soapy foam. Rinse the water 3-4 times. This will ensure an effective rinse. Have someone open the door, and you run as far away from the toilet as you can while opening the toilet lid. A clean cat will fly out of the toilet and dry out in the open air.
If you have questions, ask.
Sincerely yours, Dog.
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