Our Jokes:
Marriage Jokes
Funny Jokes About Married Life, Husbands, and Wives
Marriage brings love, partnership, and plenty of moments that don’t always go as planned. From small everyday misunderstandings to classic husband-and-wife dynamics, married life is full of humor.
These marriage jokes celebrate the funny side of relationships, highlighting the quirks, habits, and situations couples experience every day.
- Sarah, I can't marry you!
- Why?
- They say you already had a lot of men.
- What, you don't like the way I cook?
- No! I have never tasted such delicious food!
- Then maybe you don't like the way I clean the house?
- No? Yours is cleaner than the operating room!
- Maybe you don't like the way I receive guests?
- No, you are great! Everyone is just delighted!
- Maybe I don't suit you in bed?
- No, I did not even imagine that you can get such a pleasure!
- So what, you think I learned all this in correspondence courses?
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A young man walks into a bookstore and asks the clerk for New Year's cards.
- Show me something sentimental...
- Here you go: "To my one and only with eternal love.
- Looks great, give me ten!
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- Young man! What do you think is the best month to get married?
- In the julember...
- But there is no such month?!?!
- That's it... You got it!
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A girl writes a note to her boyfriend:
"Dear Tom! Be sure to come back tomorrow evening. Dad is at home, but he is in bed due to a severe injury to his leg. Understood? Olivia".
A response follows:
"Dear Olivia! I won't be able to come tomorrow night. I, too, am lying in bed, and my place where your dad hurt his leg hurts terribly. Understood? Tom."
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A young man leaned over and kissed an unfamiliar girl sitting nearby on a park bench. Without meeting any resistance, he kissed her again and asked in amazement:
- But why are you silent?
- My mom told me never to talk to strangers.
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A guy and a girl are sitting on a bench. The guy says:
- Honey, can I allow myself a little mischief?
- You can, - the girl says, sighing, and closes her eyes.
- Well, that's it, and it doesn't smell at all, does it?
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A guy and a girl are sitting on a bench. She asks:
- What are you thinking about?
- About the same as you.
- Ony try it, I'll scream right now!
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- No, no, Albert! - says the girl, - Not a single kiss before the wedding!
- OK then. Will you tell me when you get married?
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A girl has been dating a guy for fifteen years. One day she can't stand it and says to her boyfriend:
- Stefan, don't you think it's time for us to get married?
- Yes, I think so too, - he replies, - but think for yourself who will marry us?
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From the moment I met you, - the man says to a woman he met at the resort resort, - I can't eat, drink, or smoke ...
- Do you love me so much?
- No, there's just no money left for all this.
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