Blonde Jokes

One man walks into a women's bar, there are only blondes in the bar.
He sits down at the counter and says to one:
- Do you want me to tell you a new joke about blondes?
- Man, listen, behind the bar is a blonde, she has a black belt in karate, to your left is a blonde - an aikido master, to your right is a blonde 190 cm height and weighing 95 kg, on stage a blonde is a hand-to-hand combat instructor, and behind you stands a blonde with a bat in her hands. Do you still want to tell a joke about blondes?
The man paused, thought for a couple of seconds, then said:
- No, I don't want to explain the joke six times ...

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.
- Oh, I really liked it, - she replied, - especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.
Dumbfounded, her date asked,
- What do you mean?
- Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!

A blond comes to the doctor and says:
- I'm on the 3rd month of pregnancy, and my stomach does not stand out.
The doctor replies:
- Did you eat oranges?
- Is this necessary?
- Yes, necessary!
A few months later she comes back and says:
- I'm 6 months pregnant and I don't have a belly.
Doctor:
- Have you eaten pineapple?
- No, is it necessary?
- Yes, necessary!
A few months later she comes:
- Doctor, I'm 9 months pregnant and I don't have a belly!
- Did you have sex?
- No, was it necessary?

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish.
The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home.
The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family.
The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
Brunette: "I don't know."
Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

A blonde says to her husband:
- I want to adopt a three-month-old child from France.
- And what are you going to do with the child?
- When he starts talking, I will learn French from him.

The electrician comes to the apartment of a blonde woman to check electricity problems.
- I found the reason why your lights went out - it is because of a short circuit.
She says:
- So lengthen it then.

Two blondes are talking. One of them tells:
- When we were in Egypt, we visited the pyramids, and so, some stones were literally covered with hieroglyphs.
- What are you talking about! - the other one exclaimed. I hope none of them attacked you. Some of these foreign insects are said to be downright terrifying.

A car that was speeding at high speed was stopped by a policeman. A young blonde is driving.
- Why are you speeding? - angrily asks the guardian of order.
- Mr. Officer, - the blonde chirped, - I drive the car very badly, that's why I'm in a hurry to go home so as not to crush into anyone.

Blonde at the doctor's office:
- Doctor, when I stand on my head, the blood hits my head. I get to my feet, but the blood does not rush to my legs. Why is this?
- There are no voids in the legs.