Cheating Jokes

The husband decided to check whether his wife was cheating on him or not. He said that he was leaving on a business trip, and he hid in the closet. At night, from his wife's bedroom comes:
- Sideways, sideways, leg, this one, so good ...
The husband waited a bit and enters the room. Looks - the wife is sleeping, and the piano has disappeared.

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- What an elegant suit you have!
- A gift from my wife. And without any reason. Yesterday late at night I returned from a business trip a day ahead of schedule - and I see that this suit is hanging right next to the bed. Imagine what a surprise!

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Husband suddenly returns from a business trip and finds a cigar on the night table.
- Where is this cigar from?
The wife is silent.
- I ask for the last time, where did the cigar come from?
The voice from the wardrobe:
- From Havana, idiot!

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The lover and his mistress are lying in bed. She asks her partner:
- Beloved, you are very strong and are not afraid of anything, what will you do if my husband comes now?
- I would have tied him in a knot, swapped his legs and arms and poured him into the toilet!
From the mezzanine a thin trembling voice is heard:
- No way, I'm on a business trip for two more days!

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The husband returned from a long business trip, enters the room and sees bare legs sticking out from under the blanket. He asks:
- Who is this?
- Who, who! Did you buy me a fur coat? That's it. And he bought. Did you ever take me to the ocean? And he took. And the cottage, the car... What do you think, all this fell from the sky?
- So why don't you cover his legs, he'll catch a cold ...

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The husband returns from a business trip and finds his wife at home, roughly speaking, not alone. Without saying anything, he leaves the house and sits down on a bench in the yard to think about his bitter fate:
- What a whore, I specially sent her a telegram that I was returning from a business trip ahead of schedule.
Sat, smoked, cooled down a little:
- On the other hand, maybe not a whore at all, maybe the telegram just didn't get through.

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The husband is returning home from a business trip ... At home - a wife with a lover! A lover (hefty kid) grabs her husband by the breasts and drags him to the kitchen, puts him in the center, draws a circle around her husband and says:
- If you leave the circle, I will kill you!
He returns to the bedroom and continues to make love to his wife. A few minutes later, hysterical laughter is heard from the kitchen - once, twice, three times
The hefty guy stands up, goes to the kitchen ... a questioning look, the husband replies:
- While you were making love there, I already left the circle three times.

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The wife of a millionaire suspected that her husband was cheating on her with a maid.
In the evening, she sent the maid to the city, and she herself went to bed in her room. Soon the door quietly opened and a man entered. Without turning on the light, he undressed and eagerly set to work. As soon as he finished, she shouts:
- Well, parasite, are you surprised?! - and turns on the light.
- Oh-oh-very. . - was all the gardener could say.

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Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said:
- Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?
- Okay, - I said.
She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.

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The husband suspected his wife of cheating on him. Having left once, allegedly on a business trip, he began to monitor his apartment and immediately spotted a handsome young man who spent nights with his wife. Then he decided to take revenge cruelly and rushed to find a killer:
- I want my wife to be shot in the head and her lover's cock shot.
The killer agreed to do everything for five thousand dollars. The husband was looking forward to the call in another city. Finally, at the appointed time, he grabbed the telephone receiver:
- Everything is fine. It turned out to be easier than I thought - 2,500 dollars and we are good: it took only one shot.

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