Doctor Jokes – Funny Medical Humor

A girl enters the doctor's office:
- Undress, please, - the doctor tells her.
- Why?! - the girl flashes. - It is my ear which hurts!
- In that case, you don't want to see me, - the doctor replies. - I'm an ophthalmologist.

Two vets finished operating on the elephant.
- I don't think we left any tools inside?
- By the way, where is our nurse?

- doctor, why are my tests so bad?
- how much did you pay for them?
- Twenty dollars each.
- My dear, good tests are Now much more expensive.

The doctor gives the patient two pills:
- Take one in the evening, before going to bed. The second in the morning if you wake up.

Doctor, you know, I'm ashamed to say, but I fart and can't hear the sound of it. Help me.
- Here are the pills. Take them 3 times a day.
- Will I hear better?
- No, you will fart louder.

At the doctor's:
The doctor asks: - How did you burn your ears like that?
- You see, when I was ironing, the phone rang, and instead of the receiver I pressed the iron to my ear.
- And what about the second ear?
- Well, I should I have phoned for a doctor somehow?

A council of doctors has gathered:
- Shall we treat the patient? Or let him live?

An old lady with a pretty daughter enters the doctor's office.
- Take off your clothes, - the doctor says to the girl.
- It is me who is ill, doctor, - explains the mother.
- Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am. Show your tongue.

The secretary in the doctor's waiting room was terribly surprised when a nun flew out of the examination room and rushed off without paying. When the doctor came out, she asked what happened.
- I examined her, and said that she was pregnant, - said the doctor.
- But doctor! - exclaimed the secretary. - She is a nun. This can not be!
- Of course not, - said the doctor. - But the hiccups disappeared right away.

Suffering from chronic bronchitis, Ronald decided to visit a famous doctor. He carefully examined him, asked in detail about everything and assured that the disease was treatable.
- Are you sure about that, doctor? - Ronald asked hopefully. - Probably, you have a lot of experience in the treatment of this disease?
The doctor smiled enigmatically and said confidentially:
- Believe me, my dear. I myself have had bronchitis for more than fifteen years!