Our funny funny jokes. Funniest jokes across all categories:

Nelson was mortally afraid of thunder. Desperate, he went to the famous psychiatrist.
- Well, it's funny! the doctor laughed. - Thunder is the same natural phenomenon as many others. Therefore, there is nothing to be afraid of him. As soon as you hear thunder, do what I do - get under the bed and you'll be fine.

Psychiatrist says to a patient:
- In vain you complain of an inferiority complex. On the contrary, you are extremely correct in assessing your capabilities.

The psychiatrist asks the patient:
- Tell me, madam, are there any cases of megalomania in your family?
- There is, doctor, there is! My husband sometimes claims to be the head of the family!

Two friends meet who have not seen each other for several decades.
The first one asks:
- How are you doing?
- Excellent, there is a cottage, and a car, and an apartment - in short, everything you need.
- And how did you manage to achieve all this?
- Yes, I own one three-story brothel: on the first floor there are prostitutes from 18 to 25 years old, on the second - from 25 to 45 years old, and on the third - gays.
- You're lucky!
- Don't tell me. If you knew how hard it all got to me, because at first I had very big strains with money, so I had to send my daughter to the first floor, my wife to the second, and myself to go to the third ...

December 2019, Wuhan. Chef to his assistant:
- Why did you take the bat out of the oven a minute early?
- Oh, you might think that this will cause a world catastrophe!

A nurse is pushing a wheelchair with a patient along the hospital corridor, the patient complainingly asks:
- Or maybe better in the intensive care unit?
The sister angrily replies:
- Patient, do not self-medicate! The doctor said to the morgue, so to the morgue!

Medic, where are we going?
- To the morgue.
- But I'm not dead yet!
- But we haven't arrived yet...

The patient asks the doctor:
- "Doctor, what should be done in case of a snake bite?"
- First you need to find out why she bit you. Maybe you stepped on it. If so, be sure to apologize to her."
- "Doctor, will this help?"
- "At least you will die with a clear conscience."

In the morgue:
- These two died of COVID.
- So one of them has his skull broken ...
- He was riding the bus without a mask and coughed.
- And the one with the ax in his back?"
- He sneezed near a lumberjack ...

A question in the mommies group:
- I missed it, and my son was born on August 1, when Mercury was still in retrograde. I'm very worried - please help me figure out how this can affect the fate of my son. Thank you in advance.
Response:
- Mercury in retrograde in this situation is a very alarming state. There is a high probability that the child will be raised by a dumb mother.