Our Jokes:
Army Jokes
Funny Jokes About Soldiers, Officers, and Military Life
Army life is built on discipline, teamwork, routines — and plenty of unforgettable moments. From strict officers and exhausting training drills to hilarious misunderstandings in the barracks, military life creates comedy in unexpected ways. These army jokes celebrate the lighter side of military life, focusing on the everyday situations soldiers, recruits, and officers experience both on and off duty.
Question to a student of the mathematical faculty of the university:
- What do you think about when you look at a brick?
- About the fact that it is a rectangular cuboid with an aspect ratio: 2: 4
Question for an architectural student:
- What do you think about when you look at a brick?
- That if you take one and a half million of these bricks, it will be possible to build a residential building.
Question to a cadet of the Higher Military School:
- What do you think about when you look at a brick?
- About the women.
- But why?
- I think about them all the time!
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Two soldiers are talking.
- Listen, let's make fun of the lieutenant.
- Yeah, we've already made fun of the dean.
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The ensign explains to the recruits:
- If a stone is thrown, it will fall to the ground - it is affected by the force of gravity.
- What if he falls into the water? - a recruit asks.
- That doesn't concern us, that's what the Navy does.
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Soldier's Letter.
A soldier writes a letter home to his wife:
- I need some money for cigarettes, etc. I think $500 would be enough for me for this month.
His wife writes back to him:
- Here 50 dollars for cigarettes. And "etc." is waiting for you at home for free.
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The ensign lined up a group of soldiers on the plane for parachuting.
He sees: one guy is trembling with fear.
Asks:
- What's wrong with you, boy?
- Yes, it is the first time I jump with a parachute - I'm afraid!
- Okay, this for the first time you can jump without a parachute.
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The tests of the latest American stealth aircraft ended in failure. As the designers assured, their aircraft cannot be located either by radar, or visually, or by any other means. However, this has not been verified in practice. After takeoff, the plane was never seen again ...
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A young man comes to the military registration and enlistment office, says that he would like to serve in the navy.
- Do you know how to swim?
- Swim? Don't you have ships?
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The soldier approaches the commander:
- I need to go on vacation - my wife should give birth ...
The commander releases him; a week later the soldier returns.
- Well, Smith, who was born - a son or a daughter?
- We'll find out in nine months.
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In army:
- So, soldiers, do you have mathematicians?
- Yes, here!
- Excellent! Take a shovel, go to extract the roots.
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The commander of the communications platoon, having drawn a sinusoid, explains to the soldiers how electric current moves through the wires.
One soldier remarks:
- Everything is clear, except for one thing: how does this crooked line go along a straight wire? It can't be like that!
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