Dark Humor Joke

A family of cannibals is sitting by the fire. The father scooped up a spoon in the cauldron, took a sip for a sample, turns to his wife and suddenly hits her. She is in tears, and he tells her:
- How many times do I tell you: when you put meat in soup - take off socks!

A married couple is driving along a suburban highway. They are not in a hurry, the speed is 60 kilometers. The husband is driving. The wife, sitting on the right, turns to him and says:
- Dear, we have been married for 15 years, but today I decided to tell you that I want a divorce.
The husband does not answer anything, only gradually increases the speed to 70 kilometers.
- And I don't want you to dissuade me, it's already decided. I sleep with your best friend, and he is a much better lover than you.
Again, the husband does not answer, but increases the speed to 80 kilometers per hour.
- I'm taking our house away from you.
The husband is driving at 90.
- And children.
Now the speedometer is already at 100 kilometers.
- And also all your money and the car.
The husband is silent, only gradually begins to direct the car to the support of the nearest bridge on the road.
- Do you need anything? the wife asks.
- No, I have everything I need, - the husband finally replies.
- And what is that?
And a second before the car hits the concrete wall, he replies:
- Airbag.

At the boat station on the loudspeaker:
- Boat number 99, something happened to you?
- ... silence ...
- I repeat!!! Boat number 99 something happened to you?
(someone yells back)
- We have only 80 boats here!
- Boat number 66, did something happen to you?

The landlady is renting a room to a new guest.
- The room is good, bright. A chemist lived here before you and was very pleased.
- And this stain on the ceiling - probably the consequences of one of your chemist's unsuccessful experiments?
- No. This is the chemist himself.

The executioner raises the ax over the head of the condemned and asks:
- How do you like it, one piece or sliced?