Doctor Jokes – Funny Medical Humor

At the doctor's office:
- Tell me honestly, doctor, do these herbs of yours do any good?
- A lot of good! I recently bought a cottage for my son, and I'm finishing a house for my daughter ...

- When I was young, - said the famous doctor, - I wanted to become an architect.
- Why did you change your mind and choose medicine?
- In architecture, - the doctor answered, - all mistakes are visible. And in medicine they are buried with the sick.

A patient came to see the doctor.
- Doctor, I have hemorrhoids.
- In which place?

- Doctor! - a young man turns to the doctor. - I ask for the hand of your daughter.
- Do not dream about it - you look like you have diseased kidneys ...
The distressed young man went to the door.
- Wait! - the doctor stopped him. - Please pay my secretary at the door $100 for consultation.

- Time heals all diseases...
- Ah, that's why you have to wait so long for an appointment at the clinics ...

Two friends are talking:
- The doctor said that I have an innate ability to ski.
- What does it mean?
- My fractures heal quickly...

The pharmacist meets his friend and asks:
- Well, friend, did the healing mud that I gave you last week improve your wife's looks?
- You know, only for two days, and then your mud peeled off.

Customer at a pharmacy:
- I can't sleep at night, the slightest sound bothers me, I'm a victim of insomnia. That damned cat that's screaming outside my window just finished me off.
Pharmacist :
- This powder is very effective.
- When should I take it?
- It's not for you, give it to the cat.

The dystrophic lies in the hospital and shouts:
- Nurse, Nurse. Drive a mosquito off me, it trampled my whole chest.

The doctor enters the ward for dystrophics:
- Hello, eagles!
- We are not eagles. We're just flying because the nurse turned on the fan.