Our Jokes:
Funny Animal Jokes
Jokes About Talking Animals and Human-Like Animal Behavior
Animals are funny on their own — but they become even funnier when they start talking, thinking, and acting like humans. From clever dogs and sarcastic cats to unexpected conversations in the wild, imagination turns animals into perfect comedians. These funny animal jokes bring animals to life with human personalities, creating playful, silly situations that are easy to enjoy for all ages.
Animals judge the snake.
Hedgehog: - And let's cut off her head!
- No, it's too cruel! - the hare objects.
- Then let's cut off the snake's tail! - offers a squirrel.
- That's right, to the very head! - shouts a hedgehog.
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At the zoo, a bear complains to the director:
- Transfer me to another cell, I can't live like this anymore! I have a monkey on the right and a giraffe on the left. The monkey tells jokes all day, and the giraffe laughs all night.
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The bunny and the squirrel came to the wise owl:
- Wise owl, here we love each other, we live together, but for some reason we don't have kids. Is it because we are a bunny and a squirrel?
- Not! It's because you're a boy and you're a boy.
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An elephant escaped from the zoo. The sheriff gets a call:
- Sir! There is a huge gray rat in my garden!!!!
She picks cabbage with her tail ......
- And what does it do with it?
- Sir! You will not believe!.....
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One cow says to another:
- It's just some kind of epidemic: wherever you look - one cow went crazy, then another ...
- It's nothing, - her friend reassures, - as soon as it didn't reach us, ducks!
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A hare, a hedgehog and a turtle gathered to get a drink. Deciding who to send for a bottle ...
They decided - the turtle ...
Waiting for 15 minutes, waiting for half an hour, an hour...
The hedgehog starts yelling:
- Damn it! Where is that bastard!
A turtle crawls out of the bushes and says:
- If you swear, I won't go anywhere!
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The ants went to war, and one was left to guard the anthill.
They return - the anthill, of course, is destroyed. The watchman explains:
- A bear passed, stepped on our home.
But you got revenge on him, right?
- Yes, big time! I went and shit right in the middle of the lair.
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The Hare is running through the forest. The Bear meets him.
- Where are you running? - asks the Bear.
- The order was posted in the forest. Who has five paws, cut off the fifth, so that it does not hinder.
- What, do you have five paws?
- Well no. But the execution was entrusted to the Donkey. He cuts first, and then starts counting.
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Two snakes crawl and one asks the other:
- Listen, are we highly poisonous?
- Strongly!
- Strongly-strongly?!
- Strongly-strongly-strongly!
- Well then, I am fucked, I bit my tongue!
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There lived three sisters, cats. The youngest was hostess at home and the other two - good-timers.
The younger one got tired. Decided to also enjoy herself one night. The elders are waiting. One in the morning, two, three, five am: she showed up at seven.
- Oh, sisters, I met a cat in red boots, so handsome. How in the evening he pressed me to the basement doors and all night, all night ... was telling me how he was castrated five years ago.
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