Jokes About Women – Funny Women Humor

One wife advises another:
- Do not worry that your husband drags behind every skirt. My dog chases every car, but if he catches up with it, he still does not know what to do with it!

Two married women talk:
- My husband likes to smoke a cigarette after a good sex, - says one woman to another.
- I approve of that - one cigarette a year won't hurt anyone.

- Diane, where are you taking the cake?
- I want to give it to my husband's secretary.
- Is it her birthday?
- Not. She has a very slim figure.

A conversation between two friends:
- I'm going to tell you an anecdote, you will laugh so hard, your boobs will fall off.
- A-ah!!! So you heard it already?

A woman complains to the veterinarian about her dog:
- Doctor, he harasses me all day long!
- Well, that's nothing, we'll do one operation on him, and he won't bother you anymore.
- God, how awful! Can't you just trim his nails and get rid of bad breath?

Two male friends are talking:
- Ah! Dear friend, allow me to condole with you!
- And what happened?
- Yesterday my wife bought a mink coat!
- And how does it matter for me?
- It matters because tomorrow she is going to visit your wife!

One friend tells another:
- Imagine, yesterday I kissed a girl, and she immediately began to call the policeman.
- My position is worse! I had barely kissed her, she immediately called the priest ...

The conversation of the neighbors on the bench:
- I don't know anyone who would love animals more than Olivia - she drowns her kittens only in warm water.

A young woman is driving a car down the highway at great speed.
A friend sitting next to her says:
- Can you drive slower? Everything flashes before my eyes!
- And you do the same as me.
- How?
- Close your eyes.

The lady hands the check to the teller at the bank and says embarrassedly:
- Forgive me that my husband's signature is a little illegible ... I didn't even imagine that he would be so scared when he saw a gun in my hands ...