Kids Jokes – Funny Humor About Kids

The postman brings a registered letter and rings the doorbell. The door is opened by a boy of about eight, puffing a hefty Havana cigar. The postman squeezes out in amazement:
- Uh... are your parents at home?
The boy casually shakes the ashes from his cigar onto the carpet, winks and replies:
- What do you think?

Little Johnnie has been asking his father for a week to take him to the zoo, but his father says he is busy and keeps promising to do it sometime later. Finally, his wife says to him:
- Well, when do you finally take your son to the zoo? He was also asked to write an essay about animals.
Nothing to do - the dad had to take his sone to the zoo.
The next day, the teacher asks Johnnie:
- Johnnie, I don't understand one sentence in your essay: "My dad was very happy when at the zoo the horse he bet 30 to one came first".

Daddy, where do baby elephants come from?
- You see, James...
- Don't tell me about the stork. The stork just won't pick it up.

Mom tell her son:
- Johnny, our canary has disappeared somewhere!
- Weird, mommy. I vacuumed it five minutes ago and it was there.

Farther is trying to give a lesson of good behavior to his son:
- Yesterday I found 100 dollars on the street and took them to the police. What would you do in my place?
- Same as you. Lied. - his son answers.

Kathy has her first menstruation and she stands in the corridor in tears. Bart passes by:
- What happened to you?
- I don't know what's wrong with me - I am bleeding ...
- Well, let me see ... - yes, yes, of course, I'm not an expert, but in my opinion they torn off your balls!

Dad taught his little son to count. Now dad has to share dumplings equally.

A boy sits at a bench. Another boy approaches.
- Bart, why are you so upset?
- Sit down, Peter, I'll tell you.
- Well, I am sitting, tell me!
- Can you Imagine, the bench is freshly painted.

Kindergarten teacher asks:
- Peter, can you count?
- One, two, three, four, five...
- Katie, go on!
- Six, seven, eight, nine...
- Bart, keep counting!
- Ten, jack, queen, king and ace!

- Hello, ambulance, come quickly, our Johnnie swallowed a live mouse!
- A doctor on their way, but for now you open his mouth wide and hold a piece of cheese, maybe the mouse will come out by itself!
The doctor comes and says:
- What are you doing? I told you - cheese, not sausage!
- But we are now luring the cat!