Kids Jokes – Funny Humor About Kids

Mom tell her son:
- Johnny, our canary has disappeared somewhere!
- Weird, mommy. I vacuumed it five minutes ago and it was there.

Farther is trying to give a lesson of good behavior to his son:
- Yesterday I found 100 dollars on the street and took them to the police. What would you do in my place?
- Same as you. Lied. - his son answers.

Kathy has her first menstruation and she stands in the corridor in tears. Bart passes by:
- What happened to you?
- I don't know what's wrong with me - I am bleeding ...
- Well, let me see ... - yes, yes, of course, I'm not an expert, but in my opinion they torn off your balls!

Dad taught his little son to count. Now dad has to share dumplings equally.

A boy sits at a bench. Another boy approaches.
- Bart, why are you so upset?
- Sit down, Peter, I'll tell you.
- Well, I am sitting, tell me!
- Can you Imagine, the bench is freshly painted.

Kindergarten teacher asks:
- Peter, can you count?
- One, two, three, four, five...
- Katie, go on!
- Six, seven, eight, nine...
- Bart, keep counting!
- Ten, jack, queen, king and ace!

- Hello, ambulance, come quickly, our Johnnie swallowed a live mouse!
- A doctor on their way, but for now you open his mouth wide and hold a piece of cheese, maybe the mouse will come out by itself!
The doctor comes and says:
- What are you doing? I told you - cheese, not sausage!
- But we are now luring the cat!

Little Peter talking to his mom in the morning:
- Mom, I woke up last night, looked into your bedroom and saw you jumping on dad!
- Peter, well, this is, because dad has a big belly, so I tamp it down so that it is smaller!
- Mom, this will not work!
- Why do you think so?
- Well, when you leave for work in the morning, our neighbor Martha comes to us and inflates it again!

- Grandma, how old are you?
- Oh, granddaughter, ask better something good!
- Grandma, well, at least tell me the first digit!
- Six.
- And the second one?
- Four.
- And the third?

A little boy is visiting his grandmother. At night he wakes up and says:
- Grandmother, I want to pee.
- Okay, but next time don't say "pee", but in some other way, for example "whistle".
The next day the boy spends the night with his grandfather:
- Grandfather, I want to whistle.
- Hush, you can't whistle at night, people are sleeping around!
- Grandpa, but I really want to!
- Okay, just quietly in my ear!