Funny Money Jokes and Rich People Humor

A millionaire man (MM) decided to send his son (S) to a super-elite school. So they go to this very prestigious school, and the director (D) tells them:
D: - You know, in order to determine the level of knowledge of your son and select an individual study plan, I have to ask your son a few questions.
MM: - Well, ask.
D: - So, boy, what's your name?
S: I don't know...
D: How old are you?
S: I don't know...
D: Who do you want to become?
S: I don't know...
D: You know, with all due respect to you, we cannot take your son to our school ...
MM: Let us come again tomorrow?
D: Well, sure, come again...

The next day:
D: What's your name?
S: David!
D: How old are you?
S: Eight!
D: What do you want to be?
S: Astronaut!
D: Whom?
S: David!

A wealthy tourist has come to town.
Leaving $500 as a pledge to the owner of the hotel, he went up to look at the rooms of the hotel. The owner of the hotel, without a moment's hesitation, takes a bill and runs with it to the butcher to repay the debt.
The butcher, with a bill in his hands, runs to the farmer and repays him the debt for the beef. The farmer repays the debt to the owner of the auto repair shop.
The owner of the workshop goes to the local shop and pays off the debt for the groceries.
The owner of the store runs to the local escort girl, who, due to the crisis, "served" him on credit ... The girl immediately runs to the owner of the hotel and repays him the debt for the rooms that she rented for
clients.
At this moment, the tourist comes down and says that he did not find a suitable room, takes the deposit and leaves.
No one has received anything, but the whole town is now debt-free and optimistic about the future.

One entrepreneur figured out how to make good money.
He bought a tanker of beer and went to the desert: that's where in the heat and in the lack of water you can charge higher prices. Caravans go one after another, but all pass by. Miracles! Finally, there is one man riding alone on a camel. Entrepreneur runs to him:
- Beer! Cold beer!
The man looked at him and went on. The merchant grabs him by the leg:
- Beer! Cold beer! Well, what are you really? Try!
The rider covered his eyes with his hand and wept:
- Get off me, annoying mirage!

The customer calls the killer:
- I have a target for you.
- Yes, I am listening.
- He will take train from Denver to New York on August 13th.
- Good.
- We pay 3 million dollars for it.
- Yes, yes.
- Take note of the car number and seat.
- How much do you say you pay for it?
- Three million dollars.
- Well, in that case, the train number is enough.

Rockefeller was going on vacation to his villa. The secretary called the staff to warn that the boss was coming, everything should be in perfect shape.
The manager went to check the territory of the villa:
- What is that sand on the beach? It's not sand, it's mud! Quickly order a plane and bring a few tons of sand from Barbados! And what are those trees? These are not trees, but some kind of sticks!!! Urgently bring a few hectares of forest from the reserve and plant them out! Well, what's with the pumps in the pool?! Urgently order new, latest models from General Motors...etc.
Everything was promptly put in order. And then the day came, Rockefeller's huge personal "Boeing" lands on his own lane, he goes out, limousine takes him to the villa. Arrives at the villa, sits down in a sun lounger, drinks a glass, looks around dreamily and says:
- What silence ... And what air, nature ... And how I rarely come here ... There is no time ... And why do I need all those billions? ...

What means do you have to support my daughter?
- Hundred thousand a year.
- Well, that's good. Add to that her dowry of five thousand a year.
- I've already taken that amount into account when calculating.

I heard that you broke up with your fiancé.
- Yes. She has a very unpleasant laugh.
- I didn't notice it.
- It's just that you weren't there when I told her what my salary was.

Husband and wife are discussing their budget. Every last cent is spent on living, and they would like to save a little. The wife thinks aloud:
- Maybe we should borrow some money every month and save it?

The businessman gave a diamond necklace to his wife for her anniversary. The wife is distressed:
- Dear, you knew that I wanted a Mercedes!
- I know. But I never found a store that sells imitation Mercedes.

A crowd of people gathered around the boy who swallowed a 10-cent coin. Nobody knew what to do. Then a man came out of the crowd, grabbed the boy by the legs and started shaking him. The coin fell out.
- Are you a doctor? - they asked him.
- No, - the man replied, - I am a collector!