Our Jokes:
Office Jokes
Funny Workplace Humor About Bosses, Coworkers, and 9-to-5 Job
Office life comes with deadlines, meetings, awkward conversations, and the daily grind of the 9-to-5.
These office jokes capture the humor hidden in workplace relationships — from bosses and coworkers to emails, meetings, and office politics. Relatable, clever, and sometimes painfully accurate, this collection of workplace humor is perfect for anyone who’s ever survived a long meeting, questionable management decisions, or another “quick call” that wasn’t quick at all.
It's good to work two jobs! Lots of money!
But not because they pay a lot, but because there is no time to spend ...
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You have to work a lot, intensively, seven days a week, until smoke comes out of your ass. Only then you will be able to afford the most expensive antidepressants and the coolest psychotherapist.
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The first working day of a young journalist. Got the task to write an article, turned on the computer, sits, does not know how to start. An experienced colleague passes by. The young journalist grabs him by the sleeve, asks:
- Excuse me, I don't know how to start, can you help?
He replied:
- Yes, everything is simple. You write:" it became known from reliable sources that ...", and then you carry on with any garbage that comes to mind.
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The director of the office to a subordinate:
- All right, I've had enough! You're fired!
- Fired? And I thought that slaves are sold!
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The manager is talking to a young man who wants to get a job:
- In our company, - the manager says, - they care a lot about cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat in front of the door when entering?
- Oh yes, of course.
- Secondly,- the manager continues, - we require honesty from our employees. There is no mat there.
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A man enters his boss's office and pours a jar of ink on boss's head. Then he climbs onto the table and starts dancing. At this moment, his colleague looks into the office and says:
- Stop it, Jean! We were joking, you didn't win ten million dollars in lottery!
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The owner of the firm summoned an employee to his office.
- Mr. Ripley, - he said, - I have two news for you. First, I'm doubling your salary.
- I don't know how to thank you, Mr. Jackson...
- The second piece of news - I'm firing you immediately. Now you will know, slacker, what a good place you have lost!
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Two employees talk at lunch:
- What was our boss talking about in the meeting for more than an hour?
- About importance of saving time at work.
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The head of the department meets his employee on the street and asks in bewilderment:
- What does it mean? Your brother just called me and said that you were admitted to the hospital...
- Moron! He was supposed to call tomorrow!
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The director of the company invites one of the employees to his place.
- I heard - he says - that you constantly pray to God for a pay rise. Is this true?
- Yes, Mr. Brown.
- In that case, I must tell you that your wish will never come true.
- Why, Mr. Brown?
- Because I don't like it when my employees go to higher authority over my head.
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