Our Jokes:
Psychiatrist Jokes – Funny Mental Health Humor
Patient and Psychiatrist Jokes. Therapy Room Jokes
These jokes capture funny interactions between patients and psychiatrists, highlighting playful misunderstandings in therapy.
Nelson was mortally afraid of thunder. Desperate, he went to the famous psychiatrist.
- Well, it's funny! the doctor laughed. - Thunder is the same natural phenomenon as many others. Therefore, there is nothing to be afraid of him. As soon as you hear thunder, do what I do - get under the bed and you'll be fine.
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Doctor, how can I treat my husband? - a visitor asks the psychiatrist.
- Madame, he is absolutely healthy.
- But yesterday he ran home and shouted that all the dogs were walking down the street with open umbrellas!
- Don't you remember how hard it rained yesterday?
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"They let the fool out of the mental hospital, everyone is surprised:
- How did they let you out, stupid?
- We had a test! Whoever crawls through the keyhole will be released. For one, the shoulder didn't get through, the other - a leg, but I refused.
- And why?
- What am I, a fool? After all, the key was inserted on the other side!
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Police? They're calling from a psychiatric hospital. A patient ran away from us.
- What is he like?
- Bald and shaggy.
- How can this be?
- I told you he's crazy.
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Psychiatrist speaks to a patient:
- So, every night you dream about some nightmarish creature that rushes at you, screams, and hits you on the head with a rolling pin? Surely this vision disappears after waking up?
- That's just the point, it is not, doctor! In the morning, it usually screams: "Stop sleeping, loafer, take the children to school".
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Psychiatrist says to a patient:
- In vain you complain of an inferiority complex. On the contrary, you are extremely correct in assessing your capabilities.
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Two psychiatrists are talking. One of them says:
- I'm currently dealing with an exceptionally interesting case of split personality.
- Yes? And what is this interesting case?
- The fact is that I managed to persuade each of them to pay me for treatment.
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The psychiatrist asks the patient:
- Tell me, madam, are there any cases of megalomania in your family?
- There is, doctor, there is! My husband sometimes claims to be the head of the family!
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