University Jokes

Funny Jokes About Students, Professors, and Exams

University life is full of late-night studying, tough exams, brilliant professors, and unforgettable campus moments. From cramming before finals to decoding confusing lectures, every student has a story to tell.

These university jokes celebrate the humor of higher education — the stress, the smarts, and the survival skills required to make it to graduation. Whether you're a student, graduate, or professor, you’ll find something to laugh about here.

A lecture on psychology begins at the university. Having comfortably settled down at the chair, the professor:
- Today, fellow students, we will study three similar stages of the human psyche:
surprise, irritation, and anger. Let's take a concrete example...
Taking out a phone from his briefcase, the professor dials the first number he comes across.
- Hello, can I speak to Victor?
- You know, such a person does not live here, - the person answers on the other end.

"Here, - the professor says, smiling, - it's just a slight surprise. Look further." He dials the number again.
- Hello, did Victor come yet?
- I told you, there is no such person here ...

Rubbing his hands, the professor winks conspiratorially at the audience.
- Pecked. Well, now...
Dials the number for the third time.
- So Victor is not there?
- You go f ... yourself...
- Well, comrades, I hope you understand the example. Let's get to the theoretical part...

A young man gets up from the first desk.
- Sorry, professor, but you forgot the fourth stage.
- What is it?
- The stage of gobsmacked.
Approaching the professor, the young man dials a number:
- Good afternoon. This is Victor. Did anyone call me?

"A professor is walking along the corridor of the university. A student goes towards him:
- Hello, professor. May I ask you?
- Of course, ask, young man.
- Tell me, professor, when you go to bed, do you put your beard on the blanket or under the blanket?
After some pause:
- Yes, you know, somehow I didn't think about it.
- Well, excuse me, please.
They went each their way.
A week later, a professor with circles under his eyes meets the same student in the corridor and grabs his chest:
- Well, you're a bastard! I haven't been able to sleep for a week - it's uncomfortable this way, and uncomfortable that way!

At the exam, a student pulls a ticket with questions and sees that he does not know the answers to a single question.
- Professor, there are three questions in the ticket, I don't know the answers. But let's be fair. I will also ask you three questions. If you answer, then I agree to "D", if not, then you give me "A".
- OK, agreed.
- What is illogical, but legal, illegal, but logical, illogical and illegal?
The professor did not answer and gave the student an "A".
- Now listen, professor. Here you are already old, and you have a young wife. It's legal, but illogical. The young wife, of course, has a lover. This is logical, but illegal. But the fact that a minute ago you gave this lover an "A" is both illogical and illegal.